Early on in my Christian walk, I didn’t have many friends that were walking with Christ. And as many other people have experienced, many of my non-Christian friends did not respond with enthusiasm to me making a lifestyle change. One close friend in particular was bothered by my new pursuit in learning about God and wanting to live like a Christian. One evening after work when inquiring about my plans, I told her my plan for the evening was to attend a Bible study. She made it clear that she thought this was ridiculous, and questioned why I wanted to pursue this. It wasn’t long before she googled what I could only guess was “most offensive verses in the Bible,” and began reading through a list of single verses that, not knowing the context, were difficult to explain. Especially considering I was only a couple of weeks into reading the Bible seriously. One of the verses she read was 1 Timothy 2:12, which says
“I do not let women teach men or have authority over them. Let them listen quietly.”
This was immediately followed with, “Are you just going to be quiet, Haley?”
I knew what she was really asking; are you going to just keep your mouth shut while you let a bunch of men tell you what to do? This obviously wasn’t my plan, nor was it the meaning of that verse. But I didn’t have an answer then, I simply had faith. I knew God was calling out to me, I could feel the pull on my heart to seek Him, to let go of the lifestyle that left me empty and hurt.
But I’ve thought about that interaction a lot since then. The question that I couldn’t answer, “Are you going to be quiet?”
I had no confusion that God had good reason for Paul to write this. God intends for men to be at the head of the church, just as they are intended to be the head of their homes. The secular feminist mind finds this insulting—they believe themselves to be just as capable of leading their home or leading a church or whatever it may be. But it’s not about capacity. It’s about humility. It’s about trust. It’s about serving God and your family in the best way that serves them, with the gifts God has designated for you. 1 Timothy 2 ends with
“But women will be saved through childbearing, assuming they continue to live in faith, love, holiness, and modesty.” 1 Timothy 2:15 NLT
Obviously not all women marry, and not all married women have children, for God has another plan and purpose for them. But for those who do, it’s our job to teach our children things such as faith, love, holiness, and modesty. And the best way to do this is by modeling a lifestyle that reflects Christ. And for all people, that life is rooted in spending quiet time with the Lord.
So to answer the question, “Will I be quiet?”
Yes, I will be quiet when I am learning in church (the context of this verse).
Yes, I will be quiet when it’s the most respectful response to my husband. Showing him I respect him and trust him to lead us well is more important than being right!
Yes, I will be quiet when the alternative is empty, idol talk that is only to draw attention to myself.
Yes, I will be quiet when that is the best way to resist slanderous conversations.
Yes, I will be quiet instead of complaining or whining.
And Yes, I will be quiet as I sit before the Lord, submitting myself to be changed for His honor and glory.
I will be quiet for all of these reasons and more, because when I do speak, I want my words to bring life. I pray that those who hear me hear hope, hear encouragement, hear love and humility. I pray that my words will make them feel lighter, and that I can bring peace and comfort to their lives while sharing God’s truth.
“The tongue can bring death or life…”
Proverbs 18:21 NLT
So yes, there is a time and place to be quiet and others where you will be called to speak up. You nor I will ever be perfect in discerning when we should and shouldn’t say something, and what we should say when we do speak up. But a faithful walk will render us far more usable for God to speak through us in those moments when we are called to speak. And all of that begins with our moments of being quiet with Him.
I pray this will be an encouragement to you in learning the power of the quiet moments. For it’s what we gain in those moments that allow God to be heard when we do speak.
Prayerfully seeking Him,
Haley