I’ve been seeing this trending term, “Mom Era,” more and more lately, which to those of us who are moms, fills us with a sense of glamour and celebration for this season of our lives. And if you’re a mom, you likely know there are many, many moments where it feels less than glamorous. It comes with exhaustion, mom guilt, less time for self-care… Yeah, it’s no wonder why we could use a little boost to remind us this is a season to be celebrated! 

But aside from this trendy idea of being in the “mom era,” what are we, as our own person, gaining from this time of our lives? I’m sure if you think about what it is being a mom, you get a blur of things in your mind. I’m sure it all has to do with pouring into your kids, homemaking, maybe trying to squeeze in date nights with the hubby when you get a kid free moment. But what are WE, the moms, supposed to be gaining from this time? And don’t see this as a selfish “what am I getting out of this” question—I mean how is motherhood challenging us and changing us to become a better woman? To be a better wife, a better friend, and a better version of ourselves? Are we taking the time to reflect on how we are being changed in this season, because we should be changing… And by the grace of God, in the most beautiful way possible. 

I want to take a moment to talk about WHY this is important. As a woman, it’s so easy to compare. It’s so easy for us to compare ourselves to our OLD selves. Maybe we were skinnier. Maybe we took more time to tan, get our nails done, do our makeup more often. Maybe we had hobbies that we liked to partake in that we can’t do as easily such as go to the gym, go sit at a book shop, or go to lunches and dinners for hours at a time with friends. It’s easy as a mom to see things that we’ve given up, but often times we get so busy as a mom, we don’t take the time to find the deep, personal gains of a woman who has completely changed her life to sustain another. 

So what else do we gain aside from these awesome tiny people we raise? Are we taking the time to truly gain all we can from our mom era, and looking for all of the positive change and growth we experience during this incredible season of our lives? 

Here’s a few areas of growth I’ve experienced that I imagine many others can relate to: 

Serving Joyfully— 

At the beginning of my marriage, I would be lying if I said I didn’t mind chores. I had a huge reluctance for cleaning. I forced myself to do it, but our first place normally had dishes in the sink, an unmade bed, and laundry everywhere. All this with only 2 of us! So imagine me having my first son…Nothing can prepare you for the initial shock in added workload of having a child. But even in those early days of having my first, there was a massive shift in me. I found myself volunteering to do things that I hadn’t been as quick to do previously, whether it be making and taking meals to others, cleaning dishes after get togethers that weren’t at our house, making more home cooked meals… etc. Fast forward 2 years, and being in my kitchen cooking and cleaning while my boys play has become one of the highlights of my day. What was once a burden to me now fills my heart with a tremendous amount of gratefulness and joy. Which leads me to my next point… 

Contentment— 

Discontentment can be sneaky sometimes… for me, frustration is a tell that I’m feeling discontent with some area of my life. For the longest time, body image was a big area of discontentment for me. I beat myself up because I didn’t meal prep enough and go to the gym enough to look like I should be running an Instagram fitness page. Up until recently, I struggled with discontentment over my home. I wanted to have such a clean and cozy home that every part of it looked like it should be on a Pinterest page. But with a 2 year old and 4 month old, our floor is usually covered with toys. So my home is crowded with toys and I don’t have abs. I know—how horrible! But seriously, what’s unbelievable is that I’d want and expect anything different. I’ve carried 2 healthy baby boys to full term, and now they are healthy baby boys that love to play hard. And in this season, there are things that are much more important to me than a spotless house and a 6 pack. And I wouldn’t change it for the world! 

Intentionality— 

This has hit me on so many levels over the last 2 years. One of my favorite examples of this was reading to my oldest. It wasn’t something I loved to do when he was really small, mostly because he wasn’t super interested and I was typically ready to just lay on the floor and close my eyes for a second. But I forced myself to do it anyways to build the habit for me and interest for him. And one day, he was just that—interested. And then next thing I knew, he was choosing his own favorites, and bringing them to me to read. With my marriage, we’ve learned to be intentional about the time we spend together. About showing interest in each other’s hobbies, affirming each other, helping and supporting each other in any way that we can. And as a unit we’ve been learning to be more intentional about having hobbies—things that we do in our free time that are just our own. For both of us, the hobby has related to a form of content creation. Instead of scrolling through social media, we spend a few nights a week with him recording videos and me writing. It’s been so much more fulfilling than scrolling through countless reels! And on the nights that we aren’t working on our hobbies, the time we spend together is far more fulfilling because we have more things that we’ve learned, more ideas to share, and more undivided attention in general because we had a chance to miss each other while we were working on separate things. Getting a chance to miss each other is particularly needed when you work remote jobs and are together 24/7! 

These are just a few key examples of growth I’ve seen in myself, and I’m guessing you’ve seen growth in at least one or all of these areas too. All of us should be taking time regularly to examine ourselves, to find personal growth that we can be grateful for, and identify areas where we need to cultivate change to be the best we can be. I pray you find so much personal growth you can be grateful for! And I also pray that you will be inspired to continue that growth to be the best model you can be for your children, spouse, and anyone else you have the chance to influence. Because while the mom era never truly ends, there will be a day that you see the fruit of your labor in the children you raise. And I pray for you that they flourish! 

Grateful and Inspired, 

Haley