“Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and He will give you everything you need.” Matthew 6.33

Let’s take a moment to consider the concept of motivation–something that is behind every action that we do. Whether that be working a job or sitting on the couch, whether it be reading your Bible or scrolling through social media, there is something motivating us to do everything that we do. According to the verse above, there’s one thing above all else that should be our motivational force, which is seeking God. This seems clear, right? If we are in pursuit of righteous living, then we should be on track, right? Well, it may not always be that simple. There are times when we think we are in pursuit of righteous living, and it turns out, the lines have blurred and it’s our flesh we are serving over our Lord.

I had a personal check in my motivation not so long ago. Towards the end of my last pregnancy, during the “nesting” phase, I was determined for the house to be clean and organized, and in order to maintain this, I built a very in depth cleaning schedule that would allow us to divide our chores up throughout the week so that we could stay on top of everything. My goal was to build a disciplined routine for cleaning every week so that by the time baby was born, it would already be habitual and therefore easier for us to keep going. 

So that’s a God honoring desire, right? I mean, God wants us to have discipline, and to be orderly, so what could possibly be wrong with this? 

After finishing the dishes around 8pm one night, I decided to take a seat on the couch and rest. I was sore and exhausted—I know, shocker considering I was 36 weeks pregnant. Well after returning from putting our 2 year old down, my husband came to join me on the couch, and picked up on the fact I was in some discomfort. I explained that I was, and I was discouraged because I still didn’t get everything done. My husband then told me, very lovingly, to calm down with the chores.  

My gut reaction to this, though completely internal, was one of frustration. My initial response was completely rejecting the idea that I had any need to “calm down” with the chores. I mean, who wants to spend their weekend doing laundry and cleaning bathrooms? I didn’t want that for us! And the chores weren’t going to go away, so how am I supposed to “calm down” with them?

Fortunately, I have learned to not speak in moments when I know I’m having a fleshly reaction. But the question in my head at this point was, WHY did this comment just completely appall me? After all, I was just trying to build discipline and healthy habits, right? He had been helping me and doing the chores we agreed to, so I wasn’t harboring frustration with him… So why was I so frustrated?

Well there were a few things that went wrong when I made the decision to do this:

1. I made the decision to do this because of feeling overwhelmed. Instead of addressing the feeling of overwhelm by surrendering it to God and seeking His peace, I decided to address it in another way. Which leads me to my next stumbling block…
2. I was trying to regain control. I was feeling out of control, and this course of action would help me get everything under control. Because I’m sure we all know many mothers who are working full time, managing their household, caring for their 2 year old, all while very pregnant, and they are doing it all perfectly and without fault… right? I was determined to be one of them! Which leads me to my final fault…
3. When I decided that I would get our entire household to do list under control, it was something I was doing for myself. I put an unrealistic expectation on myself out of pride, and I completely left God out of this decision. While yes, having order and discipline is a respectable effort, obsessing over something to the expense of myself, to the point that I had a fleshly reaction when someone who loves me raises genuine caution and concern, is a sign that maybe my motivation was lacking God.

With this combination of things, something that could have been a Christ honoring effort to be better organized as a family very quickly turned into a fleshly obsession to feel and appear as though I have everything under control. And with my fleshly motivation woven throughout this effort, no one in my family was benefiting from it. I was tired and obviously somewhat frustrated whether I wanted to admit it or not, and I was now struggling even more with the feeling that started me out on this escapade–feeling overwhelmed. 

So going back to Matthew 6:33, what was I missing? “Seek the Kingdom of God above all else… ” I didn’t seek God first when I was overwhelmed. I instead gave way to my feeling of overwhelm, then went and tried to fix it myself without involving God in the process. While living with discipline is Christ honoring, obsessing over discipline and missing out on God’s grace is not helping me to accomplish right living. 

I share this because as believers, we can very easily turn something that’s meant to be a “Godly” decision or effort, and then become out of balance because we aren’t seeking Him first. Many of us are juggling any combination of family, homemaking, and work, all while trying to find time to be closer to Jesus. I pray this can be your reminder to first come closer to Jesus, and ask Him to help you prioritize every other area of your life. You’ll be amazed by how quickly your life will turn from imbalance and overwhelm to intentionality and worship!

Let the favor of the Lord our God be upon us, and establish the work of our hands upon us; yes, establish the work of our hands!

Psalm 90:17 ESV